NursesNotes

Well I got the ACLS recertification training session over with today and passed the test. I always dread these. Especially today, I have had an upset stomache all day, and fighting off a cold. All the kids are back to school and they always drag home what I refer to as the "the back to school colds" (As I was participating in a mock code with the hospital's extremely expensive equipment, I was thinking "don't get sick ,don't get sick....")Now,  wouldn't that be a picture? The nurse manager barfing on the fake patient/computer gizmo.

I am looking forward to tomorrow, Ms. Beesh is not going to be there, she is off site, at meetings, all day. She has had home made lunches all week, and been in a "not bad" mood, either. So, we all know what's going on in her neck of the woods. I can quite often get the lay of the land from her secretary. She will  let us know that "the wind is blowing from the north today"

My daughter needed some help with  a term paper. She "needed to interview a professional" Her dad said, "well, what about your mother?" She replied  "Mom? Dad, get serious."

 Oh well, mom can't win em all,  I guess!

 I'm glad several folks enjoyed the cat ditty I posted yesterday. I take no credit for it, I was sent this by a friend a while ago. I have a cat that does everyone of those things, especially the first one to - my eternal disgust.

Well,  folks, I will say night night, I am taking my sniffling self to bed early tonight.
ttfn, have  a great evening.

1. CHAIRS AND RUGS:

If you have to throw up, get into a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If no Oriental rug is available, shag is good.

2. DOORS:

Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get a door opened, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it.

After you have ordered an outside door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, and mosquito season.

3. GUESTS:

Quickly determine which guest hates cats the most. Sit on that human's lap. If you can, arrange to have "Friskies Fish n' Glop" on your breath.

For sitting on laps or rubbing against clothing, select fabric color that contrasts well with your fur. For example: white furred cats go to black wool clothing.

For the guest who claims, "I love kitties," be ready with aloof disdain; apply claws to stockings or use a quick nip on the ankle.

When walking among the dishes on the dinner table, be prepared to look surprised and hurt when scolded. The idea is to convey, "But you always allow me on the table when company isn't here."

Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It isn't necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.

4. WORK:

If one of your humans is sewing or writing and another is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called helping, otherwise known as hampering. Following are the rules for hampering:

A. When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You can't be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on, picked up and consoled.

B. For book readers, get in close under the chin, between the human's eyes and the book, unless you can lie across the book itself. If it is a newspaper, claw at it until shredded. Your human will appreciate a homemade toy!

C. For knitting projects, curl up quietly onto the lap of the knitter and pretend to doze. Occasionally reach out and slap the knitting needles or split yarn. The knitter may try to distract you with a scrap ball of yarn. Remember, the aim is to hamper work.

5. PLAY:

It is important. Get enough sleep in the day time so you are fresh for playing catch mouse or king-o-the-hill on their bed between 2 a.m. and 4 a.m.

MOST IMPORTANT: Begin people training early. You will then have a smooth-running household. Humans need to know basic rules. They can be taught if you start early and are consistent.

---

 

Now I know that this blog thingy is touchy....I just wrote a very brilliant blog and touched the wrong button and whoosh it was gone!! Just kidding about the brilliant part, but I did lose a fully written blog.

What a drawn out day today was, and tomorrow will be worse, I have to do my yearly update for ACLS ( advanced CPR) It takes so much of my day, and when there is so much work to do, it just puts me behind. However it's a condition of my job, so I have to maintain my certification. I had an interdisciplinary meeting today, when all the team members get together to discuss a patient,and make plans for their continued care. We have one old  ( retired?) nun on our continuing care unit. She told me I should have had a vocation as a nun. I thought she said a vacation, I wish!! actually I trained at a mega Catholic hospital, trained by nuns from the venerable order of the Sisters of Charity. When I was young I sure didn't want to be any bride of Christ, thank you very much. There were two nuns who were enough to scare the living bejesus out of you, Sister Mary Joseph and Sister Saint John. They both wore the old fashioned habit,with the wimple and full skirts and aprons. They glided around like they were on ball bearings, and would come up behind you and scare the HELL outta you!!

Anyhow, little retired nun person asked me if I read my bible.I said sure I did, and she said "like Hell"  !!!! Got to love those old demented dollies!!!

Have a great evening folks, we went out to pick out some pumpkins. I love fall!! ttfn

For someone who uses technology on a day to day basis, I have been a little stymied by the great Tblog! I had a lot of trouble figuring out how to go about adding the links, but finally figured it out.
As my little one used to say, "All by myself!!!"

I have been reading some really good blogs, and have tried to link to those ones that I enjoy reading. I have only three that I have successfully added to my links, but the others I would like to have there don't show up. Can anyone tell me what I am doing wrong?
thanks in advance!

Well the boss had a hubby made lunch today. A nice little chicken dinner, no less! with homemade rolls, and a perfect little apple tart for dessert. Ms. Beesh was in a "not bad" mood, either, today. I am blessed!! Mr. CEO must have been good company!

My lunch was a ham sandwich on homemeade bread with dijon mustard, the kind with the little mustard seeds still in it,  & boston bibb lettuce. I also ate some homemade apple sauce and a pear. For coffee break we went to Starbucks for coffees and biscottis. Came home to homemade soup in the crock pot, more home made bread and mr nurse had some lovely chablis chilled and waiting! The remainder of the boston bibb went into a salad.
But, lest you think I have it made,he had also hung flypaper in the kitchen. He was so proud of himself. Once the kids got home from piano and sports, they all agreed it was quite gross and guess who got to remove them. On the other hand, there were a lot of flies on them.
Now there are some very strange and scary looking wasps buzzing around my window too.
Work was very energizing today. We decided which rooms would be our AIDS rooms and I am in the process of developing Policies and Procedures (P&P) to guide the care we will be providing. I am very excited about this. AIDS care is one of my passions. Wear your red ribbons proudly, folks.

ttfn, have a great evening!

Well here we are on another Monday morning. I am always apprehensive about Mondays. Said boss, dragon lady supremista,aka the beeyatch,Ms.Beesh will likely have her Monday AM big sulk going. At least I now know and (semi) understand this foolish behavior. I will keep a low profile until lunch time. If she has the lunch packed by hubby, we should be OK.( 50/50 chance) If she lines up with the rest of us, all bets are off. I'll let you know.

Actually, I'm excited to go in today and announce our addition of the 4 beds for patients needing care for HIV/AIDS. Many of our long term AIDS patients, who have traditionally been well managed at home, are now starting to fail their regular therapies. Quite often they are needing treatment for pneumonia etc. Dreadful disease. We have lost many good friends over the years to it.

We have a number of friends in the theatre community in the town where I live. Mr. nurse and I love to go to our local community theatre and see wonderful top notch productions. We were to a pot luck fundraiser yesterday for our theatre and for AIDS. It was sublime. Music on the lawn, lots of laughter and great food and conversation. Unfortunately, we stayed a bit later than we intended to and consequently, I am running a little late this AM. However, I did enjoy a wonderful glass or two of wine. It's supposed to be good for you with all those antioxidant properties! Not sure how it works on "toxic boss syndrome", though!!

ttfn and have a Great Monday, all!

What is it with flies? this year, here in the northeast, there seems to be an invasion of them.
During the summer, it wasn't so bad, the airconditioner was set so cold that they didn't seem to fly around much, I guess they were all fairly dormant. Now that the a/c is off for the most part, they are ALIVE!! Everyday when I get up I kill at least 25 of the suckers. At least they are all on the kitchen window where the morning sun comes in. I am now in the daily habit of having to get up, flick on coffee, pick up fly swatter, go on killing spree, windex all the window to remove fly guts, dispose of dead bodies. Wash hands, make and drink coffee, start over and kill the ten or so that have magically reincarnated from the evil dead ones. I am quite convinced that flies are NOT one of G-Ds creatures, they were spawned in Hell!! Mr nurse is going to look around for the way they get in, today. He doesn't know it yet, but he will!
Useless Cat, spoiled housepet supreme, does not earn one bit of her keep by at least killing a few.

A cute aside, when our daughter was two years old, the word "fly swatter" was too hard to pronounce, she called it a "fly SLOPPER" !! descriptive name!

Actually, she mispronounced a lot of words, at that age. Once, we were driving along and the distinctive odor of a dead skunk wafted into the car. All the kids held their noses and "ewwww! gasp hack" and other sound effects that four and five year old boys love to make... Said two year old, wrinkled her little button nose and said "Whats dat 'mell?" The other kids were only too eager to let her know" eww gross skunk"

 As she was always a rather quiet and reflective kid, she mulled this bit of information for a few minutes, then proudly, and loudly, announced "I smell a KUNTZ"

 Mommy was quick to correct her pronounciation, the other kids were too young to pick up on it! whew!! try explaining that word if it popped out at , say, church!!

Nurse Nancy returns from the 2 day horror show that was the conference!! Yikes! it  was two days of heavy data application instruction. I have mentioned that I manage three units composed of 100 beds. I have a split of beds from the extended care unit, to the complex continuing care unit, a rehab unit and the palliative care unit ( my favorite) I have applied for, and received funding to add 4 beds for AIDS patients to my complex unit! I am extremely happy that this was given to us. One of the required elelments in running healthcare is to apply for funding to the appropriate sources. This  conference was to learn how to provide information to the appropriate agencies and to develop Quality Indicators to go along with our QM programs. Needless to say, it was two days of mind numbing powerpoint and lectures. However, I did learn and am eager to get in on Monday( ha! not really) and get to work! Now I know how to produce truly frightening looking spreadsheets in Excel for my boss to look good with! YAY! Ms. Beesh attended as well, however the last I saw of her was yesterday evening at a "meet n' greet" She was enjoying a glass or five of wine, and the company of the CEO of a major healthcare organization. They disappeared together before dinner and she did not show for the sessions this morning. OOPS!! Since there were approximately 150 people attending this conference, I doubt that anyone but me noticed her absence.
 Time to reconnect with the kiddlies and mr. nurse.

Have a great evening, folks!

ttfn!

Today is supposed to be the day when everyone leaves their car at home and walks to work. I could tell by all the commuters on the road this morning..not. I have to go to a conference today, three days away from work ( sort of). The beesh is going too, but not with me. I have to drive for 4 hours to the conference, so hopefully will not be too tired by the time I get there. I will be home on Saturday. ( maybe on Friday, If I'm lucky enough to get finished early) Lot's of logistics are involved to have a career and travel and raise a family, too!

There's some crockpot chili for tonite and they will have frozen pizza tomorrow. On their own for Friday! I, on the other hand, have a dinner included in the conference. Even cocktails! whoo hoo, time for nursenancy to cut loose!

ttfn! happy walking day, ppl!

 

When I was in nursing school, one method we used to memorize oodles of information was the use of mnemonics. We all have little mnemonics that we use all the time. Who doesn't remember "Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge" to remember the notes on the lines in music? Medicine has it's own. Some very complex, others just silly. I remembered that when someone loses consciousness one should remember..."If the face is RED, raise the HEAD.
If the face is PALE, raise the TAIL."
I can remember a few, the cranial nerves is one  ( on old olympus towering tops, a finn and german viewed some hops)and for some strange reason I remember the reason the eyes can be red....
GO SUCK:
Glaucoma
Orbital disease
Scleritis
Uveitis
Conjunctivitis
Keratitis

and of course, every good nurse knows the nerves responsible for erection, emission and ejaculation "Point, Shoot, Score!" parasympathetic, sympathetic, and somatomotor.
So... now you know, too!

I was reading Island artist's blog about someone with a fish hook in the eye, and it took me back to my first nursing job. I was a new grad, fresh out of nursing school. My first job was on the ophthalmology unit. Every kind of eye problem was looked after there. there were the usual things such as cataracts and glaucoma patients, people with detached retinas, and various other dysfunctions of the eye. In the medication room was a refridgerator. On the door of the fridge was a sign ,in large letters, that said "DROP EYES EVERY HOUR"
It took me two days to know that this was where the "harvested" (don't ask, I won't tell) eyes were kept. The sign referred to having to put antibiotic drops on them every hour. I had visions, in my newly minted little nurse's brain, of eyeballs bouncing merrily around!
just a memory!probably one that should have been repressed.
ttfn

Well we here in the northeast are certainly having fun with the storm of the hurricane formerly known as Ivan, oh you know what I mean!! It's wet out there, baby! The forecast is that rain will increase over the next 24 hours or so. I know we are not nearly so involved as folks further south, and for that we are grateful, It is unbelievable to look at the destruction left in the wake of all these hurricanes.
Now that my usual Saturday hustle bustle has settled down, we are back from ballet, hockey and grocery shopping. I am going to put on a big pot of seafood chowder and friends will come over this evening to have chowder, homemade bread and salad. And wine, of course. I may even light a fire, it is a little cooler than usual.
So bon appetite, folks, ttfn

Well, I can finally say at least this week is over with. I managed to get out of work on time, because I was off-site, in meetings all day today! I usually hate going to off-site meetings, but today they ran just long enough so I didn't have to return to work! Yay! I love getting off a little early, I can get home and still have time to catch up on some things around the house or with the kids and not feel as if I'm  running out of time. Actually, it's just mr. nurse and me this evening. All various and sundry offspring are at sleepovers. Yay! I plan to have a nice cold glass of Chardonnay, and then we may have a little bbq. We will reconnect and catch up on each other's week and just relax. The tomatoes are all ready to harvest so we may work in the garden for a while, too. We always plant way too many tomatoes for our own use, so I'll take several bushel baskets to the food bank tomorrow. The food bank people like having fresh stuff to give out. Every year I say that the garden is too big to mange, the kids are so busy with their activities and I just don't have time......blah blah blah. Then I get out there and walk around with my clippers, do a little deadheading, and savor the taste of some thing fresh, just picked and there goes my resolve to do away with gardening!
BTW, Bachelor's Buttons are wonderful stress relievers to deadhead. You can flick their tiny dead heads off with thumb and forefinger, saying, "take that, and that and that!!" as you visualize the boss's head flying off.
ttfn, and cheers! ( clinking of wine glass to computer screen)

Back from the hockey practice. What is everyone going to do without NHL this season? boo hiss!! Poor players, not wanting a salary cap when the average wage is over $$$$1.8 million$$$$.
 I am so tired. I blogged earlier and said the young patient's death was yesterday, I meant on Tuesday. I didn't blog Tuesday, it was just too too rotten. Tomorrow is Friday. TGIF!!!!

 nitie nite folks, ttfn.

Today was good. Beyotch did not come to work today. Her weekend was mahvellous......yesterday she waxed poetic about her wonderful time she and her viagra addled hubby had.......OMG....just TMI!! However, I noticed that she ate cafeteria food....hmmmmm. Anyhow, she was off today so that gave me extra time to be out on the floor and to get the rest of my work done.

Today was much better, not just that the sadistic boss was away, but things just all came together. I got the schedule done and posted. There is a "big" union at my workplace and the schedule has an hour assigned to be posted. It is pressure, for sure......

Staff all felt a bit better after the death yesterday. We talked this morning, and everyone is fine with the death of that young woman. Most of us are her age and I guess it gives us pause to think that it could be one of us. We just could not see her living any longer in the shape she was in.
Actually, I am a Cancer survivor. Five years this past summer!! Yea for Nurse Nancy!!
When I was diagnosed, my oldest was in junior high, my youngest not yet started school. It was awful. I had surgery, all the treatments and was back to work within 7 months. Felt ghastly, but I did it. I know I was lucky and I pray everyday giving thanks for the reprieve! It was hard on my hubby and my eldest child, but somehow we managed and came through it all. When I dealt with the young husband yesterday, I felt so awful, because I knew it could have been me a few years ago.
Anyhow, we are off to hockey practice this evening ( kids, not me!!) so ttfn, and keep that lovin'feelin' folks!!!

Yesterday was sad. I held the hand of a patient who died. Not that this is an unusual thing for me to do in the run of a day, but the fact that the patient was a young wife and mother, was. Dead from the ravages of breast cancer. It was discovered after the birth of her last child. I stood with the   young husband and father after wards and tried to make sense out of a senseless situation. When I work with dying patients ,who are in my age bracket, it gives me pause to wonder at "WHY?" I fully comprehend the reasons, intellectually, but it is so very hard to really come to grips with death in a young person. It's not fair. But what is, I guess? Is it fair that someone will live to be 100 years old, with such advanced dementia that they are no longer able to care for themselves? I guess that's the mystery for the ages. I was certainly ready for my wonderful hubby to have a nice glass of cold Chardonnay and a boiling hot bubble bath waiting for me when I got home! It was heavenly. He even had  the kids organized with their various activities and homework.
I usually try to go to Curves on my way home. I find the mindless repititon of the exercises, the upbeat music and girls who work there to be a great way to de-escalate my day. For those of you who are not familiar with this company, it's a woman's only gym where exercises are done on a circuit of different machines with rest stations in between. The amount of time might vary, usually about 40 seconds or so per machine. I figure I can do anything for 45 seconds, and the great thing is, you don't need to be overly coordinated. Something that I am not really blessed with. My kids are all so athletic, and I marvel that they can do such fantastic things. I have a daughter who is a cheerleader and when I see her throwing her team mate in the air and then catching her, safely, I am amazed.
After a rotten day like yesterday, I am always ready to come home and hug my family extra hard.
Always remember, appreciate your loved ones. Your day may not end up the way it started out.
ttfn,folks, it's time to drive into work  for another shift. Have yourselves a deluxe day!

Is it Friday yet? I wish it was. The week started off by hitting the floor running, as I do every day. Staffing problems, diarrhea outbreaks, you name it I've handled it in the past two days. Not literally, mind you.
( At least not without gloves on!!)
There seems to be a virulent strain of Norwalk on the "go" since last week. Nasty bug which causes all sorts of gastro intestinal problems. When folks are already sick, they sure don't need another problem such as  an infection. Two years ago we experienced Clostridium Difficile on our units. Hard to eradicate, hard to prevent spreading. I was known as the "Queen of Poop." We also get our share of patients who suffer resistant bugs. These are the infections that don't respond well to even the strong antibiotics. They spread easily, and we are always guard against them.
If people would only wash their hands.....! A novel concept, I know. In our facility, we have a waterless hand sanitizer installed  on the wall outside of each room. At least it helps doctors keep their hands clean. Most nurses are great about hand washing. It's the docs who don't seem to remember. Now, at least, they can use the alcohol sanitizers. 
A study done recently showed that doctors can transmit infection from patient to patient on their neck ties!

Any how, folks, ttfn and remember to wash your hands!

An allegedly true story, from the joksters at www.nursefriendly.com

About a week ago, I broke my ankle (in three places) and was in the hospital for
several days.  My first night in the hospital, after having surgery to rejoin
my bones with pins and plates and such, I was in a great deal of pain and quite
immobile.  My nurse for that first night was a very nice 50ish lady with a
strong German accent.  At one point in the middle of the night, she came in to
give me a shot of morphine.  She asked where I would like the shot and I pointed
to my right thigh.  I slid my blankets down and she lifted my gown.  With my
gown raised, she uttered the words, "Okay, small prick," and proceeded with the
injection.  I'm still not sure whether her words were meant to warn me of the
upcoming pain or as an editorial comment.

It's time to go to work, 
ttfn- Have a great Monday!

Another email from my gfriend in Canada. Haha, the big 4-0 is coming up, yikes! Who knew it is going to be so much fun? not!


1. You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.

2. Your back goes out more than you do.

3. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

4. You buy a compass for the dash of your car/truck.

5. You are proud of your lawn mower.

6. Your best friend is dating someone half their age, and isn't breaking any laws.

7. Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

8. You sing along with the elevator music.

9. You would rather go to work than stay home sick.

10. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. People call at 9:00 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"

13. You answer a question with, "Because I said so."

14. You send money to PBS.

15. The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.

16. You take a metal detector to the beach.

17. You know what the word "equity" means.

18. You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch

television.
19. Your ears are hairier than your head.

20. You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.

21. You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

22. You got cable for The Weather Channel.

23. You can go bowling without drinking.

24. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

25. People send you this list.

While I was blogging about my bitchissma csarina and her husband's viagra dependency, I came across this in an email from one of my Canadian nursing gfriends. Laughed so hard I choked!

Since I am a unit manager, my availabilty is "unofficially" 24/7. Yesterday, I was at the hairdresser's when my cellphone rang. Now, the only ppl who get my cell number are the Disaster  Plan team at work and my own family and friends. Expecting an invite to go out for supper or a call from the kids or even ( God forbid) some mass casualty disaster at work, imagine my instant nausea when the call turned out to be from one of my floor supervisors saying that there were no Registered Nurses for our units for the night shift. Since I am the manager, what should she do?
OK folks, I've got cold wet stuff dripping down my forehead, and neck. The nurse is a supervisor and I expect them to handle staffing issues in my absence. I asked if they had called the "boss" ( la bitcha) and they said, no, she was away for the weekend. I then remembered she had ,rather coyly, told me that her hubby had the V'gra script renewed and was taking her away for the weekend.

Oh great, It will be a wonderful week next week!
Anyhow, I suggested a few casual staff to my supervisor and the shift was filled. Peeved me that it wasn't taken care of in the first place. Then Hubby got a blast for divulging the cell number to her! Turns out, she lied when she called my house and told my Mr. Nurse that it was "an extremely urgent matter"
But why does admin expect some of us to be available 24/7 and not others? For this I went to school and studied nights to obtain a Masters degree?
I wish I was rich.

ttfn
************************* ************************* ****

With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's society:

DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.

PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.

CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden, over-whelming urge to perform more child-care tasks - especially cleaning up spills and "little" accidents.

COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.

BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorite store's return limit.

NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.

FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.

FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.

LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.

This is a humerous piece that goes around the net every now and then, gets posted in staff rooms of hospitals across the country and is absolutely TRUE, I swear!

The Ranks of a Hospital

Surgeon . . .
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more productive than a train
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Talks with God

Internist . . .
Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water if the sea is calm
Talks with God if special request is approved

General Practitioner . . .
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Can fire a speeding bullet
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Is occasionally addressed by God

Resident . . .
Barely clears a picket fence
Loses tug-of-war with a train
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Swims well
Talks with animals

Intern . . .
Makes high skid marks on a wall when trying to leap buildings
Is run over by a train
Is not issued ammunition
Dog paddles
Talks to walls

Medical Student . . .
Runs into buildings
Wets himself with a water pistol
Cannot stay afloat without a life preserver
Mumbles to himself
Recognizes a train two out of three times

Nurse . . .
Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks trains off the track
Catches speeding bullets with her teeth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance
SHE IS GOD!!!


ttfn,

have a happy, healthy, accident free weekend, folks!

Well all I can say is Thank God, this week is over!! So much to do, so little time to do it in. I have to hand in my monthly reports , do the staff schedule for Oct-November. Compile all the infection stats for the last quarter and attend umpteen meetings in the next week.No wonder I'm tired at the end of the week. I am going away on a course in two weeks. They want to teach me how to be a better clinical manager, I guess. The only downside is that my Bitchboss is going too.

Well she must have had a go'round with her hubby last night. When she is all loveydovey with him, he makes her lunch. She unpacks really nice gourmet bread sandwiches, or has a nice little homemade lasagne or something that HE made ( she informed us she doesn't cook), little fruit cups etc. always very nice, and lovingly made. Little blue pill is her friend on those days. Not after fight nights, I'm afraid. She eats the cafeteria food with the rest of us. She doesn't know how lucky she is to have a hubby who will make her lunch. Gad, if mine ever took it into his head to make me a lunch, I'd be unwrapping folded over peanut butter sammies.
My guy is a great guy, he just doesn't get too domestic, if he can help it! If I had to do it over, I would probably have made a little domestication as part of my criteria. Unfortunately, that wasn't high on the criteria list back when we were dating and being very hot for each other!! I probably fell in love with my husband because he was one of the first relatively normal guys that I had dated.
I'm sure I had a "jerk magnet", right in the middle of my forehead. Some of the winners I would end up with were scary to say the least. One guy took me to a strip club on our first date, ewww. Another guy came over for our first "real" date,after I made dinner,  he excused himself as I was cleaning up the kitchen. He came back to the kitchen, naked, and "ready for action" if you get my drift. This is on the first date. Double ewww.
And, no he didn't get any.
Another in the string of losers was some beach jock, surfer dude that  I met in Hawaii. We went out to a few clubs, got a little sloshed and went back to the hotel. I fully expected to see a bit of action with this one.   Not so, He went to the bathroom, power-puked his guts up and passed out. I could go on and on.
Another thing I've learned, is  never Google old boyfriends. They are sometimes  fat, bald and really ugly. The worst situation was having an old flame come into the ER where I was working. He was having some kind of urinary blockage and I had to insert a catheter in him. I asked him if he ever had any STD's ( sexually tranmitted diseases) and when we did the test, he had one!! Apparently, he got it from his wife.( Let me qualify this was long after our little relationship- plus he always had to keep his dude wrapped with me- I'm a little squeamish about things like STD's)   & nbsp;   &n bsp; 
The best one though was a patient who came in and was diagnosed with pubic lice or "crabs" When she asked her husband where she could have got them, he told her it must of been when they went to the beach and she sat on the sand. The sad thing is, she believed him.
Methinks some guys need to have their pp wacked.

ttfn,
have a great weekend,but watch out for Ivan the Terrible.

Rum and Monkey has a great quiz " what kind of office moron are you?" I did it as if I were my boss. Wow!   "> src="http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/tests/images/ officemoron/a.jpg" title="http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/tests/images/ officemoron/a.jpg" target="_blank"http://rumandmonkey.com/widge..." title="The paranoid boss is watching you. HIDE YOUR CHILDREN" alt="The paranoid boss is watching you. HIDE YOUR CHILDREN" border="0" />
;http://rumandmonkey.com/widge...">Which Office Moron Are You?
;http://rumandmonkey.com/">Rum and Monkey: jamming your photocopier one tray at a time.   

I don't think I added that link correctly, anyhow, I have to go to work, I'll try to figure it out later! Maybe I am an office moron , too!!

ttfn

Talk about a major crisis at work. There was a twenty car pile up on the freeway outside the city limits. All of a sudden, all hell broke loose, all extra staff were to report to ER and we had to go to our external disaster plan.  Some patients were admitted, some were taken to the floor.Two went to OR and three were air evac'd out.

My boss, the supreme commander ( the beeyatch) told me to call in staff who were on their days off.  HA!!

Since every nurse in the world has call display, guess how many I was able to reach. nil , zero, zilch. nada.........We had to reallocate our staff from the units we run, and make do with emergency staffing levels. It was all over by 1500 hrs. so we were able to meet staffing for the back shifts.

One of the units that I run is a geriatric, extended care unit. We joke that it's the unit one step before the "eternal care unit." Unfortunately, the work still needs to be done and low staff or not, the same amount of work exists.

Why don't the powers that be allow for extra staffing? Oh, I forgot, it costs money. Duh.

I love geriatric patients. They're so cute. One lady is about 100 years old and such a feisty little thing. She'll spit in your face if you get close enough to her or swing that leg out and kick you on the shins! I had to laugh, during all the chaos and confusion of the emergency today, the beeyatch was going done the hall with her clipboard, and this patient  stuck her leg out and kicked her really hard! It was wonderful. I gave the patient a lollipop afterward!! I like to reward good behavior!

All in all, after all the stress, it was really rewarding to see that!

ttfn,

Nancy

This  is my first attempt at blogging.

I am a nurse and work in a fairly stressful, busy and intense environment. Writing has always afforded me a way to get my thoughts out, and when I discovered blogs, it just seem to fit. I liked to lurk around other peoples' blogs and to flit from blog to blog. I hope that everyone will visit me a lot and leave comments on  my posts.

A loading dose is  u sually an  initial dose of medication that could be given to a patient to get a quick level of medication into the system.

Kind of like when you go out on the weekend with your friends and that first glass or two of wine or beer, gets the mellow mood going and the party started! Especially when you drink them quick!

I work some clinical and do some management. Mostly management, these days. I  manage, do staffing and scheduling for a large unit. It's divided into three sub-units, for a total of 100 beds. I have a staff of 80 to schedule, manage and discipline.

My biggest problem at work is not having enough time to actually "nurse" the patients and having to look after such ill people. I mean, if your loved one is 95 years old and has had a major event, such as a huge stroke, please don't insist that the doctors and staff do "everything possible" to keep them alive. It usually is not in the best interest of the patient to be in the ICU, intubated and then start to suffer organ failure slowly, be given massive doses of drugs and be subjected to all kinds of invasive tests.

Enough already!

Lately we have had to deal with many more patients who have a dementia and escalating behavior problems. You would not believe how awful  it is to be looking after people who will take it in their heads to leave the unit,and the building or to take a swing at someone, or to poop on the floor of my office ( yes, it has happened!) When demented people wander, they can get into lot's of problems because of their confusion. Sometimes it's funny. Once we were running around looking for someone's missing dentures, when one of the staff noted that "Mable" 's mouth looked a little larger than normal. Sure 'nuff! she had stuffed those suckers in with her own!

I also have a boss who is a beeeyatch supreme. She has a love hate relationship with her husband. When the stars are all lined up and he takes his viagra, she's fit to work with. But watchout! On Monday mornings, she's usually been drinking all weekend, and if  loverboy has  run out of the little blue pill, it's fight night USA. We are all usually subjected to at least three hours of stony cold silences on Mondays. I can generally get around her by asking, "So, how was your weekend?"

As if I had a lousy one and hers must have been much, much better. Because she is a much, much more superior being than  me, a mere minion.

It is likely the other way around, but it at least helps to not have her mad at me because I have some sort of a life and she doesn't.

well folks, ttfn and happy healthy days. Don't meet me at work!

Nancy