Don't make me mad!
10.17.05 (5:45 pm) [edit]
:x Well, I see the hurricanes have dredged some swamp life up and these yellow dog cowards, who hide behind unsigned comments, are back at it!! Must be a slow day in hell. I need to remind some people that I am a fierce defender of what I am and what my family is to me. I will not tolerate or stand for racial slurs and idiotic comments coming at me from the likes of these idiots. Here's an idea for ya, :idea: Go back to your trailers swamp-dogs, and get a life.
*Nurse Nancy fights back and swings a mean sharp needle!!*
posted by: Joke for the Day (reply)
post date: 10.17.05 (2:58 pm)
On the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago, the DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match." The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers yes, he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions.
The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize.
One particular game, however, several months ago made the City of Big Shoulders drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing I've heard yet. Anyway, here's how it all went down:
DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?"
Contestant: (laughing) "Yes I have."
DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to Orlando,Florida if you win. What is your name? First only please."
Contestant: "Brian."
DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"
Brian: "Yes."
DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're what?"
Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."
DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."
Brian: "Sara."
DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"
Brian: (laughing) Yes, she's at work."
DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Brian! Stay with me here!"
Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."
DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"
Brian: "About 10 minutes."
DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake."
Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."
DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning?"
Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."
DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"
Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her Mom is staying for a couple of weeks..."
DJ: "Uh huh..."
Brian: "...and the Mother-in-law was in the shower at the Time."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: "On the kitchen table."
DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this. (3 minutes of commercials follow.)
DJ: "Okay audience, let's call Sarah, shall we?" (touchtones ringing)
Clerk: "Kinkos."
DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"
Clerk: "This is she."
DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now."
Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"
DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo...do you know the rulesof 'Mate match'?"
Sarah: "No."
DJ: "Good!"
Brian: (laughing)
Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"
Brian (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest."
DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to Orlando, Florida for 5 days on us. Disney World. Sea World. Tickets to the Magic's game. The whole deal. Get it Sarah?"
Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "All right. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work."
DJ: "What time?"
Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."
DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"
Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe."
DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question,
Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to Florida. Are you ready?"
Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Where did you have it?"
Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that, did you?"
Brian: "Just tell him, honey."
DJ: "What is bothering you so much,Sarah?"
Sarah: "Well, it's just that my Mom is vacationing with us
and..."
DJ: "She saw?"
Sarah: "BRIAN?!"
Brian: "No, no I didn't..."
DJ: "Ease up there, sister. Just messing' with your head. Your answer, please?"
Sara: "Dear Lord...I cannot believe you told them this."
Brian: "Come on, honey, it's for a free trip to Florida."
DJ: "Let's go, sister. We ain't got all day here. Where did you do it?"
Sarah: (short pause) "In the ass."
(long, long pause)
DJ: "We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors."
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.20.05 (3:52 am)
That's what the delete option is for hon. Or, just flame them like I do. They are little people with smaller minds.
Hope the flu shot is ok.
I"m starting to have an urge to cluck and peck and scratch my feet on the ground. And there's this red thing growing on top of my head. Plus I swear my mouth is looking beak-like. Could I have bird flu? LOL
posted by: BUTCH (reply)
post date: 10.20.05 (5:17 am)
NURSEY WORSEY!!!!!!
I wuz worried bout you girlie girl....and...don't include me in wif those other slugs....I am a slug at a higher level.....now.....what I think is that we jes ignore those fools and deal with fool number 1, me!!!
It disturbs me no end, when someone tries to be provocative, or just plain boorish, without any trainin'.....ya see, I been a practiscin asshole for many, many years. Those amatuers need to GO AWAY!!!!!.... This is not a job for cowards and sissies, but for me....
Ifn ya wants to get up dander....talk politics, sex, and religion.....that'll jes about do it....
Race however, is a different and rather stupid and ugly method.....
Whilst I have a great tolerance for boobs and fools, (or fools with boobs).....even those that block me from their sites....even I can't stomach these racist fools.....cowardly ones too.....man, that don't take no talent!!!!
so...I vote we git back to havin' fun, me pissin' as many people as possible off simply by spressin' my own idiotic views and sexist attitudes....
Lord knows....I am good at it....
Nursey....I wuv ya, baby.....its me and you against the world.......
Butch
posted by: NurseNancy (reply)
post date: 10.21.05 (12:39 pm)
Reply to: ScubaDiva
bawk bawk !! *clucking like a chicken*
posted by: NurseNancy (reply)
post date: 10.21.05 (12:40 pm)
Reply to: BUTCH
Butchie, darlin, if it's you 'n me against the world then I guess there's no hope left for anyone!! *mmmuuuuuhhh* *loud noisy kiss*
posted by: NurseNancy (reply)
post date: 10.21.05 (12:41 pm)
Reply to: Joke
that's crazy. who would do something like that?
posted by: NurseNancy (reply)
post date: 10.21.05 (12:41 pm)
Reply to: Joke
did they win?
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 10.21.05 (1:09 pm)
Reply to: NurseNancy
I suddenly have the urge to build a nest and flap my wings.
posted by: lynne (reply)
post date: 10.22.05 (11:57 am)
I have had some obnoxious comments on my blog too. People just suck.
posted by: BUTCH (reply)
post date: 10.24.05 (2:04 am)
Reply to: NurseNancy
I wouldn't say "no hope", Nursebabe...... "little hope", maybe....but not "no hope"....
And, by the way.....where is all the porn and drugs....? Those are two of my favorite pass times...!!!
butch